The Guilt From The Age of Innocence

 

There was this chubby boy with  black plastic spectacles in my primary school. His demeanour was the butt of jokes in school. He suffered verbal humiliation from everyone, every day, without fail. Sometimes he also has to endure physical abuse from the more emboldened children. Though he was big sized and could take on other children if he wanted to, but he didn’t. I suppose he was mentally broken that he wasn’t able to defend himself. This chap did not complete his high school, nevertheless managed to land a decent job, got married and was blessed with a child. Unfortunately, this poor chap passed on due to a medical complication later on in his life.

Today a good friend of mine from school, shared a few names of our school mates on WhatsApp. Who were these schoolmates, together with the person I mentioned above, there were four others. All these five students have always been subjected to some kind of torment in school.

That reminded me of another person from that list who also did not complete high school, went into drug addiction which eventually led him into petty crime. I met him a couple of times, when I went back to my hometown. On both occasions, he looked very haggard and he was in need of money. I obliged and only later I found out from another friend who caters food to prison, that this chap had been in and out of prison and he had died owing to drug-related health complications.  

One thing I must say, even the teachers at that time, picked on all five of them. Somehow it gave everyone (I mean students) the impunity to do the same to these 5 chaps as well.  

We were after all, 8 year-olds, and as such our actions were based on what we observed. During those day’s teachers were not only our role model but they were regarded next to God.

In Indian philosophy the hierarchy of influence and wisdom starts from, Maatha, Pithaa, Guru, Deivam  (the order is Mother, Father, Teacher and God). I am not deliberately transferring the responsibility to our teachers for our actions, but our actions at that time resembles the analogy of “monkey see, monkey do”.

For us children, we were not at the age of reason to decipher the concept of morality. This was an age we were stepping into the realm of right and wrong. At that age we could not have fully understood all the complicated reasons why something was right or wrong but we were actually beginning to learn about morality and how to make good choices. Hence the observation we made around us influenced our behavior.

Some may ask, what about the moral conditioning at home, doesn’t it affect our behavior?  Well we can’t negate that, but one must understand that the mind of a child works in a compartmentalized manner. According to behavioural psychologists, children between the age of 6 to 9 tend to compartmentalize their thinking by separating different ideas, rules or feelings based on the situation they encounter.

A child may behave differently at home versus school. They may follow a certain code of conduct in school but they may feel a different code of conduct applies at home. Hence they tend to compartmentalize their behavior according to the environment they are in. At this age, children are just beginning to embark on world of morality but their sense of right or wrong would still be based on context. For example, though children may understand that lying is wrong but they may still lie to avoid getting into trouble. Where the child would rationalize the act of lying within the troubling context than it is ok to lie.

It has been over more than 50 years since those tragic events took place but it haunts many of us till today, more so my dear friend who made us to revisit it. But as another friend said, (who happened to be also a victim of such torment) that at some point in our current life we would have paid the consequences of our actions.

This is the age of Kali (Kali Yuga) the end of the 4 cycles of Age, where according to Hindu Cosmology, it is the end of a Mahayuga, before it restarts with a new Mahayuga (another 4 cycles, lasting for about 4,320,000 human years). It is written in the Hindu scriptures, that during the Kali Yuga the consequences of one’s action or Karma will be realized within this lifetime. Based on my own experiences, at different stages in my life, I have gone through certain events that retrospectively when I think, it seems to connect with my past actions. Maybe its coincidence but I always believe that the cosmos works mysteriously.

So the question is, should we carry the burden of guilt for something that we may have committed during the age of innocence? At that age even our brains have not been fully developed and all our actions are based on limited experience, immature emotions, and limited worldview. As a child, making mistakes during our early childhood development is perfectly fine. At that age most of our actions are not based on any specific intent and we may not even fully understand the consequences of our actions.

I sincerely believe that we should practice self-compassion and forgive ourselves for any actions (even being apathetic to some wrong doings) that was committed when we were still too young to envision its implications.

As adults now, perhaps we are able to reflect and contemplate our past actions, so instead of carrying the burden of guilt we can grow and learn from those experiences.  

My friend who was also a victim of such torment said, “for some reason I was never disturbed by it all. I actually laughed at such stupidity. And the Universe has taken care of the actors, and protected me all throughout life”. This is one of the most inspiring and positive reactions that I have ever heard from someone who have been bullied. Perhaps for him, it was one of the experiences that made him resilient and assiduous, which eventually led him to be a successful corporate figure abroad.  

For the remaining 3 guys on the list, no news about them, I just hope and pray that they are doing well, wherever they are.     

ravivarmmankkanniappan@1238150820243.0567° N, 101.5851° E

Dunbar's Number and Social Chaos

It looks like anthropologist Robin Dunbar's, "Dunbar's Number" came through. 

He theorized that humans can maintain stable social relationships with about 150 people, anything more would only lead to chaos and stress. 

Today, we are exposed to vast networks far exceeding this limit, through social media, workplaces, and urban living. This overload will strain our cognitive and emotional capacities, leading to feelings of chaos and social fragmentation. 

A case in point is the current social unrest in the UK. The unrest in the UK is a culmination of transformation that took place since post WW2. The UK became a melting pot of cultural diversity which saw droves of migrants coming into the country from former British Colonies, namely from India/Paksitan, Carribean Islands and Africa immediately after WW2 ended. These arrival actually intensified between the 1960's right through the 1970's and with subsequent waves of immigration, contributed to it's multicultural society today. From 1990's onwards there was another round of immigrants, this time refugees started to knock on the UK borders. These refugees were the outcome of the rising conflicts in the Balkans, Middle East, and Africa (namely from Kososvo. Afghanistan, Iraq and Somalia). 

Unlike in the past, the migration of refugees in the 90's saw a mixed reaction in the UK. Whilst communities in the UK welcomed these refugees and made attempts to socially integrate them, but on the other hand it also made others uncomfortable. Tensions particularly emerged in the areas facing economic pressures, especially where public service is constrained. In some British communities the migrants were viewed suspiciouly which led to social frictions, political debates and formalised anti immigrant sentiments. 

These anti immigrant sentiments has its basis on the rise of Islamic fundamentalism in the UK since the 1990's. The trigger point was the series of terrorist attacks in the UK including the 7/7 2004 bombing. These events has increased suspicions and tensions between Moslems and Non Moslems which gave rise to Islamaphobia and anti Moslem sentiments, which further fractured the social construct of the UK. 

Coupled with economic inequality, unemployment/underempoyment, social fragmentation, and further exacerbated by austerity and political responses have contributed to the underlying frustrations that has spilled over as riots. Rightfully or wrongfully, the riots in the UK are merely a symptom of a myriad of issues that belies the reasons peddled to serve various agendas. 

The UK is just one of the many case studies we can observe about the social disenfranchisement that is happening all over the world. 

It is rather intriguing to note that the quality of relationships seem often diminishes as quantity increases, whereby it reduces meaningful interactions and contributing to a feeling of isolation. Salinger, in Catcher in the Rye has put this human dilemma through Holden's character. Holden feels deeply isolated struggling to connect with others and rejecting phoniness in the society. Holden's loneliness is both a defense mechanism as well as a source of pain as he longs for genuine human connections, which he keeps pushing away. His alienation is sum of the fear of growing up loosing his innocence which further intensifies his loneliness. 

A friend of mine who is a volunteer at a mental health social service centre says that majority of people who seek help suffer from loneliness. So loneliness is a serious issues that plaques people, more so today with all these digital tools it further alienates physical proximity between people. Mind you, Salinger's book was published in 1951, when digital tools were not even heard of, but this phenomenon of loneliness has been addressed then too.

But back to Salinger, then he did not address the fact that human beings can react with a gust of adrenaline rush, and sometimes mob action can motivate this. So even the lonely may react, because at that moment it may give them a sense of purpose beyond logic. 

There is a Tamizh saying, "சாது மிரண்டால் காடு கொள்ளாது" it loosely translatess as "Even the Jungle may not witstand Fury of the Wild Buffalo". Buffallo are are rather passive and non threatening animals, but when they are spooked, they may go on a stampede which would bring the greatest damage in the jungle. Every buffalo regardless of its nature would react owing to this adrenaline rush.

Riots and social unrest manifest owing to multiple reasons, but it may attract even the most passive/introvert/lonely person. A disenfrenchised person may find a sense of belonging because participating in such activity is a form of escapism from being lonely. This can also be an outlet for these individuals to release their pent-up frustrations. Participation in such activity can also give these individuals a sense of identity and empowerment. And more importantly it fits the description of cognitive dissonance, where these individuals belief that their actions are justified and it also helps them to align their actions with their self image.

Relationships are so fragile today that it creates two extremes, one where people cling on to each other for whatever comfort it gives at that moment (to alleviate fear), and the other extreme is a character like Holden (in Catcher in The Rye) who completely alienates oneself out of fear. But one thing that brings these two extremes together is incident like the Southport Stabbing that sparked the riots all over UK. Interesting, "fear" is the common denominator (we will leave this for another day).    

At this juncture, I am inclined to agree with Dunbar, that the mismatch between our evolutionary social limits and modern societal demands has and will continue to contribute to stress and a perceived loss of community, in contemporary society. I am not sure if 150 is the magic number but "fear and trust" becomes highly flamable as the numbers increases in a community. 

So the question is, can we turn the clock back? 

Will society voluntarily go back to basics? 

Umpp.... that is a tough one. 

Perhaps the prophecy of Kalki Avatar is not wrong afterall,........ the resetting of the world order is inevitable.

Cheers.

(Note: Next Change, Kalki Avatar)

ravivarmmankkanniappan@14200110820243.0567° N, 101.5851° E

Dinner at BEARDO's

Got some fresh prawns from Sekinchan today, and had this idea of making Paella for dinner. So got the prawns cleaned and prepared the ingredients.

Must say I cheated on many counts, didn't have the correct Paella rice, so substituted it with basmati rice. Oh yes, Basmati rice. So marinated the prawns with Tumeric, chilly powder and a little salt. Again, substituting saffron with tumeric. On with ingredients, chopped garlic, chopped onions, chopped tomatoes, chopped carrots, chopped fresh button mushroom, chopped chillies, and added chopped cashew nuts and muscat grapes.  For sauteeing, it's olive oil and wine. Preferably white but I used red wine. 

Heat pan and add olive oil. Do not let the oil to over heat as olive oil has lower smoke point, and if its heated to its smoke point then it loses its beneficial compounds.

Keep low fire, and once the olive oil is lightly heated then add garlic and onion and sautee the ingredient.

Then add chopped carrots and cashew nut, and keep sauteing, then transfer the chopped tomatoes. Allow it to mix well.

At this stage, transfer the marinated prawns and allow the ingredients to mix well. Add salt to taste and then add wine and allow it to cook for about 5 minutes.

At this stage transfer the cooked basmati rice and stir well. Again I cheated here by using Basmati rice and not the rice meant for Paella. Allow the entire sauteed ingredients to blend with the rice. Sprinkle the chopped red chillies and muscat grapes, and stir well. Then flattened the rice on the pan and close the lid. Allow it to cooked for while so that it gets drier. But dare not leave it too long, because basmati rice, when it gets burned it will alter the taste unlike the Bomba rice (Valencia Rice) which has a different texture that accommodates it. 

Once done sprinkle dried Thyme and Basil, and close the lid till before its served. Remember to serve hot, otherwise it won't give the oomph.

Viola Dinner is served.

Today we had the privilege of having carrot cake for dessert, baked by Chef De Silva. It was not only yummy but went well with the Paella and the Chilean Carbenet Sauvignon.

So do try and let me know your outcome. I must admit, I cheated on this recipe on many counts, and my friend Chef Jega of La Cocina would definitely be crossed of my version because of its distortion from the original.

ravivarmmankkanniappan@101130062024 3.0567° N, 101.5851° E

 

PAALADA PRADAMAN (Milk Rice Payasam)

 

Paalada Pradaman

Was in Palakad, Kerala, last week, visiting Mr&Mrs Prasad, who are my niece's inlaws, for a social visit. They are one of the most hospitable couple we know. Whilst enjoying Keralite cuisine at their home, Greeja and I stumbled upon this wonderful, simple to make Kerala Payasam called Paalada Pradaman, which obviously they served as desert after our meal. By the way for those who do not know what payasam is, it is an Indian sweet desert with pudding/porridge like texture. 

Ingredients

The most important ingredient is called the "ada", which is rice based, kinda crystalised rice. It is specially prepared through a process of pounding, drying and then converted into crystal like texture. Anyway this stuff is also available commercially in Kerala. Mine, I got it from Mrs Maheswary Prasad, who was kind enough to not only share the recipe but also the "ada".

Besides "ada' you will need 1 litre of Milk, Cashew nuts, raisins, cardamom and ghee. By the way I am using "Uthukulli Ghee" for this preparation, one of the finest in India.  

"Ada" being soaked.

Soak the "ada" in plain water for about half an hour. After which it will soften and expand. Use plain room temperature water. Do not use hot water, because it will turn the "ada
soggy. 

The expanded "ada" 

 

Boiling Milk

Pour 1 litre of milk into a pot and allow it to boil slowly. Preferably use fresh milk, otherwise evaporated milk o powdered milk will do. As the milk boils add sugar to taste.

Palm Crystal Sugar

For today's preparation I used palm crystal sugar. This is the finest non refined sugar, which also has a unique taste. I get my supply from India, though it is available in selected Indian stores in Malaysia but pricier. 

"Ada" is added.

Once the sugar dissolves and given another 2 or 3 boils, transfer the entire "ada" into the boiling milk and allow it to boil for another 5 minutes or so. Make sure you stir the mixture constantly otherwise the milk may burn. 

Tampering

Meanwhile transfer 3 - 4 table spoon of "Uthukkuli Ghee" into a pan, and allow it to get heated. Add Cashew nuts, followed by cardamom and then raisins into the heated ghee. Control the fire on your stove so that the items on the ghee do not get burnt. Once the aroma of the cardamom reaches your senses, transfer the entire content into the boiling milk which already has the "ada".

Payasam settling

Off your stove, and allow the content to settle by itself, do not stir,close the lid of the pot. Half an hour later stir the entire mixture and it is ready to be served. 

Paalada Payasam is Ready

Viola your Palaada Payasam is ready. This Kerala Payasam goes very well as a desert for both vegetarian and non vegetarian meal. It is very light and does not give a weighed down feeling after a hearty meal. 

This is one of the easiest payasam to make, unlike other complicated ones which requires technical know hows.

So everyone, do try it out and let me know.

ravivarmmankkanniappan@1251150420243.0567° N, 101.5851° E.

 

 

 

Mango Jackfruit Salsa - from Beardo's new retro Kitchen

 

The Mango Jackfruit Salsa

After a long hiatus "I AM BACK". In actual fact Beardo and Family have been busy since last November. It was my niece's wedding in Pallakad, India, followed by a reception in Segamat, Malaysia. After that, the long overdue attention to the kitchen was set in motion. As with all renovation work it will start with one and it builds over time with new ideas.

As you can see, we gave our kitchen a retro look with a meatsafe (managed to get a 50 year old from Kajang) and a retrofitted sewing machine as a water corner. Even the pot/pans hanger is a salvaged balinese door head and another piece of wood salvaged from and old rubber sheet smoking contraption.

Ok enough of the tour, lets get to business. 

To make this salsa we need one green mango, 6 - 7 ripened jackfruit, one large onion, 6 clove of garlic, 2 - 3 red chillies, all to be sliced thin.

Ingredient for the Salsa

Heat wok with coconut oil, and tranfer the garlic first, followed by the onions, and stir for about 2 minutes. Then transfer the sliced mango, stir well for another 2 minutes then add the sliced jackfruit and continue to stir for another 2 minutes. Finally top it of with the sliced chillies and continue to stir. Btw after more tha 20 years using an electric stove, we have returned to gas. It has a different feel though.

Onion and Garlic

Sliced Mango

Sliced Jackfruit

Sliced Chillies

And for the tempering, heat coconut oil and add mustard seed, urad dhall, and let it splutter. Then add 2 spoons (add more if you want it spicier) of chilly powder and stir well. For a rich flavour add 2 spoons of ghee and allow it to give a caramalised feel.

Coconut Oil, Mustard seeds and Urad Dhall

Caramalising the Chilly

Once the chilly tempering gives a nice body, transfer it to the wok and stir well, allowing the paste to blend well. Finally add salt for taste and stir well. Before removing salsa from the stove, take a spoon of palm sugar or jaggery add to the prep.

Blending the Chilly Paste with the Main Ingredient

Viola, there you have it Mango Jackfruit Slasa

The Finished Dish

The mango jackfruit salsa can be a good accompaniment with rice and Indian Breads. Also it can be a great filling for Tortilla too. 

So everyone, do try this simple to prepare dish and let me know.

Till the next recipe, adios amigos.

Cheers.

ravivarmmankkanniappan@1849180320243.0567° N, 101.5851° E 

SEEING IS BELIEVING, BELIEVING IS SEEING

 

HUMAN MOBILE by Felipe Reynolds

The Atrium, Melbourne, AU (2016)

Most of the time,

We do not see things as they are, but as we are

So, believing is seeing. And not seeing is believing.

Given this perception of ‘reality’ how do we see our future?

The above question was posed last night by the Chancelor of the university I work for. It made me think and I started contemplating on the question. I picked my thoughts and below was my response verbatim.

"Perhaps an existentialist perspective may give an insight to this dilemma, where it assumes the individual exist first and then they define their essence through choice and action. Prescriptively the individual should have the freedom of choice and be accountable for its outcome. Hence indivduals create their own purpose.

Therefore the phrase believing is seeing tend to incline towards the existentialist view, where it acknowledges the nuances of subjectivity as to how one interpretes and develops a world view.

In the case of seeing is believing, it is constructed within the boundary of empiricism, hence it may restrict thought processess within a known realm. As for existentialism it encourages individuals to go beyond observation and actively engage in the pursuit of "meaning."

"The self consiousness we ought to consider, not as a new consiousness, but as the only mode of existence which is possible for a consciousness of something." - Satre.

Satre expounds, that there is a need for a core awareness in order to to have the awareness of experience (which he terms it as pre-reflective self consciousness). This is the concept called 'Vokhta" in the Katha Upanishad.

So, the future, perhaps is a construct that one pursues.

We are at the cusp of the end of 2023, another year had passed, i ask myself, where am i, where am i going, and the most important of all, who am i?

The journey continues.........

Cheers to Everyone.

ravivarmmankkanniappan@1304301220233.0567° N, 101.5851° E

Note:

The above photo was taken at the Atrium Building, Federation Square, Melbourne, Australia in 2016. This giant 50kg inflatable baby was placed on the ceiling of the Atrium entrance, supposedly a modern take on the Sistine Chapel. This was the work of artist Felipe Reynold, capturing the modern society's constant need for engagement, affirmation, play and novelty. Called the Human Mobile and nicknamed 'Ping Pong', the inflatable baby is gender neutral and culturally ambiguous, befitting the current narrative. 

The artist perspective is that, the baby is actually on the ground and its the bystander who are upside down, who are the active players for the amusement of the baby. The artist said that he drew his inspiration from Michaelangelo's, "Creation of Adam", from the Sistine Chapel. An according to Felipe, the pose of the baby depicts Adam, and visitors can play the part of God.

It was ironical, I found this photo from my collection that appeared apt for the occasion. 

The Dynamics of Corruption: A Comparative Brief

No other period in the world best describes corruption than ancient Rome. Corruption in Rome basically stems from its own political, economic, and social structures. The Roman empire was bequeathed with vast wealth, which fueled bribery, favoritism, and embezzlement among officials vying for power. Patronage networks and nepotism was the order of the day which then promoted cronyism. Since the Roman Senate had an absolute power without punity it only further promoted abuse. In the end owing to economic inequality, unchecked power dynamics, and a tolerant culture towards unethical practices, contributed to the pervasive corruption that eventually led to the collapse of the Roman Republic.

It was during the late 1st century BCE, corruption became particularly pronounced. Personas like Julius Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus faced allegations of corruption, bribery, and manipulation of political processes. And The First Triumvirate, a political alliance between Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus, was  marked as the peak of corruption in the Roman Empire.

Meanwhile in U.S.A Inc., a young country, that was established out of rebellion from a corrupt Europe has not been spared of the disease called corruption either. Though generally ranks lower on global corruption indices compared to many other countries, but USA is not free from corrupt and unethical conduct. In the USA corruption takes various forms, including bribery, fraud, embezzlement, and other forms of misconduct. Both Public officials and private individuals have been indicted over the course of American history involving scandals such as lobbying influence, campaign finance concerns, and conflicts of interest.

One notable instance of corruption in the early days of the USA was the Yazoo land scandal (1795–1796). Georgia legislators were bribed to sell vast tracts of public land to private companies at significantly reduced prices. The scandal exposed corruption in land transactions and led to legal battles and political repercussions. The dilemma of corruption in the USA today, lies in balancing its robust legal and institutional framework with instances of public and corporate misconduct. Striking a balance between effective enforcement, transparency, and preventive measures has become a crucial element in maintaining public trust and the integrity of democratic institutions.

In India however, corruption stems from a combination of factors, including bureaucratic inefficiency, low salaries fostering a temptation for bribery, political corruption intertwining with business interests, lack of transparency in government operations, wide economic disparities prompting corrupt practices for survival, weak law enforcement fostering a culture of impunity, a complex regulatory environment providing opportunities for corruption, cultural acceptance and historical tolerance for informal networks, and the role of money in politics influencing policy decisions.

Did the British Raj have anything to do with the current quagmire in India, perhaps yes. Not with-standing the fact that corrupt practice is an inherent human behavior that stems from greed, which is an internal force, but via the British Raj much of the corrupt practice in India got an institutional condonement.  The British introduced a centralized administrative system, concentrating power in the hands of a few, in which it had opportunities for corruption and abuse of power. The British also employed a policy of "divide and rule," creating divisions among various communities. This strategy indeed had contributed to social and political fragmentation, fostering an environment conducive to corruption. The colonial economic policies, such as the extraction of resources for the British Rajs’ benefit, definitely have contributed to economic disparities and a sense of exploitation, potentially fostering corrupt practices. The British also did not prioritize widespread education in India during the early part of their rule, which limited the opportunities for social and economic advancement, potentially contributing to conditions conducive to corruption. Finally, the imposition of foreign legal and administrative systems did create a gap between the rulers and the ruled, with potential consequences for corruption.

Though these colonial legacies had contributed to corruption, but post-independence factors, such as political, economic, and social dynamics, have played a significant role in the subsequent state of affairs of the country. The relationship between colonialism and corruption is multifaceted, and understanding it requires a nuanced examination of historical contexts and local realities.

In addressing this multifaceted issues, India and the Indian government need a comprehensive effort, which includes legal reforms, institutional strengthening, transparency promotion, and a cultural shift towards accountability.

After much neglect, I believe it was PM Modi who has given priority to the eradication of corruption as one of the main agenda of the state. Modi's government has implemented measures to address corruption, such as demonetization, the Goods and Services Tax (GST) for tax reform, and initiatives like Digital India. Further anti-corruption initiatives, including the introduction of the Lokpal and Lokayuktas Act, aim to strengthen the framework, have been put in place to deal with this systemic problem.

However, the effectiveness of these measures have been subject to much debate, and critics argue that challenges continue to persist towards operationalizing it in order to achieve the desired outcome.

Moral of the story, personal greed promotes corrupt actions. Be it at the highest level, or to the lowest echelon of socioeconomic position, when an individual is driven by greed nothing can stop the voracity of the desire that follows. Established rules and laws can only be a reminder but cannot be an absolute deterrent. Only self-awareness through personal convictions towards ethical behavior can make a definitive change towards establishing a society which is lesser burdened by corrupt practices.     

ravivarmmankkanniappan@1754141220233.0567° N, 101.5851° E