Bye Bye ATHENA - Till We Meet Again

The Regal ATHENA 

Athena as her namesake, was indeed stately and has all the characteristics of the Greek Goddess, a beautiful warrior Goddess.

It was about three months after Krystal passed on, Greeja and I felt the lost even greater when we came back to a home not being greeted by the ever happy Krystal wagging its tail, and jumping in joy excitedly seeing us. We thought it was about time we moved on, wanting to fill that void. It was rather coincidental, when one of Greeja's friend mentioned that there was a puppy for adoption in Klang. We contacted the person and she sent us the photo of that puppy. Instantly we took liking to him, and decided to make a trip to Klang to pick him up. Though initially it was just Greeja and I making the trip to Klang, we were accompanied by Roshen, Dhivyaa and Kavin in the end.

So we went, saw the puppy, got excited and was just about to leave with him when the lady (who runs the animal shelter) mentioned in passing that the puppy's sister will be lonely now. This got everyone a little emotional. She added on saying that no one wants her because she has a darker shade compared to the rest. I am not sure whether the statement was meant to make us feel guilty, but everyone felt that they had to see that puppy too. The lady brought her out, and it was Kavin who picked the puppy up and said she is beautiful, shall we adopt her too. Well it was not him alone, but everyone felt the same way, including Greeja and me, and that's how Athena came into our lives. A video was sent to Raviena in New Zealand, and she too thought it was a good idea to have them both together.

From day one, they were a boisterous pair, shoes were not spared, and the front door saw the brunt of their teething.

It was Athena and Arya. Athena depicting the symbol of Wisdom and Arya meaning the Noble One. Whether it was coincidental, as they were growing up, Athena exhibited the signs of being the alpha, and expected Arya to follow orders.

"Can't You Behave Yourself", Athena Reprimanding Arya

She was not only protective over everyone at home but also showed her affection too. She will be the first to greet us when we come home, wagging her tail and jumping on us. As she was rather a large dog, the tendency to push us off balance was very frequent. They say that human's best friend is a dog, and nothing can be far off from that, when I saw the bonding between Roshen and Athena. They have their affectionate moments both before he leaves to work and after he returns. They appear to almost whispering to each other exchanging some kind of deep emotions. To the point sometime last year an incident shook all of us, when whilst they (Roshen and Athena) were having their moment, Arya butted in, and in an instant reaction, Athena bit Roshen's lips. That was a gory site, and Roshen was immediately rushed to the hospital and eventually had to be tended to by a plastic surgeon to minimise the scar on his lip. I don't know whether Athena felt remorseful but until Roshen came back from the hospital she was awfully quiet and distant. Three days later he came back, Athena saw him, and they had their moment again, and after that everything was fine.

The Lady After Her Bath

Even when my Mom and Dad or my sister’s family visits us from Johor, they are at their best behavior. They also know our neighbors well. But anyone else, they would go furious with blood curdling barks. The worst is if anyone comes to the gate (postman,courier etc) or even seeing other dogs passing, they would jump on the gate and would kick a big fuss.

The Rascals Having Their Afternoon Siesta

On the 19th of November, Athena, started to exhibit some unusual behavior. She was not eating and wobbled when she walked. We took her to our regular clinic at Subang Jaya, but was referred to the Veterinary Hospital at Jalan Gasing. They did all the necessary tests, including an MRI, and we discovered to our horror, that she was suffering from meningitis on her brain stem. According to the Vet, this was rather unusual for a young dog (she was 3 years old), but she also mentioned that in the last 2 months, there were four other dogs with similar symptoms and in all except one, it was fatal. We were solely hoping for that 25% chance for Athena. By the second day she wasn't able to move much, except when we visited her and called her name, she responded with slight movement of her legs and made a yelp kind of sound. The meningitis had affected her throat muscles too, hence she couldn't bark nor was able to eat. She was on drips all the way, and was administered with high a dose of broad spectrum antibiotics. Last Thursday when Roshen visited her and spoke to her, she gathered all her strength push herself and lied her head on his lap. That sought of gave us, including the doctor some hope, but that night itself her conditioned worsened.

The Kangaroo Pose

We know she was suffering, such an active dog, suddenly being in a state of immobility, is too much a pain for her to endure both physically and mentally.

On Friday the Vet told us the bitter truth, that none of us wanted to accept. She said, we had to let her go, otherwise she will endure this suffering till the end which was certain. It was a very difficult moment especially for Greeja. Like Roshen, Greeja's bond with Athena was special too. Every morning and evening Greeja spends quality time interacting with them. I always tell her "looks like Athena and Arya gets more of your attention than me," that should speak volumes of their bonding.

But we had to make the call, I did not want to push it, and wanted Greeja to take her time to cerebrate and decide the next course of action. That day, for some reason, Greeja brought milk for Athena, both of us fed her. Though she was lying on her side all the time, she seemed happy. But it was obvious too that she was fast deteorating. We left the hospital feeling wretched, informing the Vet that we will update her later that day.

Saturday morning, Athena was brought to the Vet's consulting room, where all of us took turns to feed milk to Athena and said our goodbye's.

Then the difficult moment came, Roshen, Kavin, Dhivyaa, Raviena (on video call), Yuhain (on video call), Greeja and I, witnessed the passing away of ATHENA, whilst Arunachala Shiva hymn was playing in the background.

We took ATHENA's mortal remains and gave her a meaningful burial.

Thus ended the life of ATHENA who choose us to be part of our family. A regal dog till the end, loved as a member of the family and died leaving good memories to cherish.

AUM TAT SAT

AUM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI ATHENA

Ravi Varmman145429112021@3.0567° N, 101.5851° E

JAI BHIM the REALITIES

 Jai Bhim The Movie

Photo courtesy of The News Minute (Screen Grab from Amazon Prime Video)

Jai Bhim, beyond its gripping entertainment value, it also speaks about the inveterate state of affair in the criminal justice system. This is not an affair that is peculiar to a particular country, but appears to be endemic even in the most developed countries.

The irony of it all is that these perpetrators of these dastardly acts do have family, friends and lead a pretty normal life, like everyone else. Many are devout religionalist, fasting on Kandha Shasti, fasting during the month of lent, or even fasting during the Ramadhan month. But when they take on the role of position and power, suddenly they become a complete different human being altogether, as though either they are possessed or suffering from schizophrenic disorder. I am puzzled, whether is it the nature of their work (dealing with criminals and undesirables) turning them into psychotic state, or they already possess a manic disposition.

I can still recollect the words of Paulo Freire, "Dehumanization, although a concrete historical fact, is not a given destiny but the result of an unjust order that engenders violence in the oppressors, which in turn dehumanizes the oppressed."

Just because the weak has always been oppressed, it does not mean that it has to continue. We have come a long way from slavery to the pursuit of creating a just society, hence people like Justice Chandru (the protagonist in the real story) are the very pinnacle who have made significant strides in that direction. Surya's effort in bringing this story to mainstream attention is very much laudable.

The movie definitely has political undertones, which in a way reflects the movie makers perceived ideagogue, but it is expected. Though I do not think Surya himself has any political ambitions, but he surely has his own sociopolitical values, and I believe that seems to sync with the current TN government's.

Championing equality is one thing but pitting one community against another (SI "Gurumurthy" Vs Rajakannu, in the movie Jai Bhim), if it was intentional, then, it will have consequences to Surya the actor. But that is something that the actor would have thought about and I am sure he will deal with, if it becomes an issue.

I firmly believe that every individual have the right to prescribe to their own values, and it should be respected, even if it differs from our own. However, I would put a caveat here, “that as long as the prescription and practice of that value does not harm another human being”.

Go watch Jai Bhim, with an open mind, beyond good screenplay, acting, and cinematography, it speaks volume of the reality of oppression. As Frederick Douglass says, “where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe”.

Until we collectively renounce fallacious and anarchic assumption on human diversities, we are actually shifting the focus away from the real inequity and discrimination, which in turn will do injustice to the pursuit of human progress.

 

Note: You can catch Jai Bhim on Amazon Prime

Ravi Varmman 1210141120213.0567° N, 101.5851° E

Nineteeth September, Two Thousand Twenty One, Another Day, Another Year

The day started with Greeja and me went for a walk at 7.30am. It was something we do either in the morning or in the evening. The usual 1 hour walk ended with a shorter walk which lasted just about 45 minutes. Greeja made a "greens" smoothie for breakfast. The morning was filled with calls from my parents and aunties and friends. Had my bath, went straight for my morning prayer at home. Then Greeja and Dhivyaa presented a gift sent by Raviena, that was my first surprise, which made my day.   

Raviena's Birthday Gift

Then I was browsing through my WhatsApp and FB, pleasantly reading greetings sent by family and friends from near and far. The sense of "being" overwhelmed my thoughts, felt very elated that I was remembered. I realised then, that I had an important task to do, a dear friend from south has asked me and another friend to prepare a document to facilitate financial assistance to needy students who had been admitted to University Science Malaysia (my alma matter). This was a commitment that like minded guys from my batch (Class '87) have pledged to carry out to assist in our little way to give back to the community.  

Lunch Prepared By My Dear Sister Thara

The fragrance of Sotong Curry (Squid Curry) was already whetting my appetite, and I thought a "boiler" would put me in the right mood for lunch. Thank's to Thara, lunch was nostalgic, Sotong curry with Kathrika Paal Curry (Eggplant with Coconut Milk Curry) was one power pack combination. 

With a satiated stomach, and wanting to laze around, I mistakenly looked at my FB, and behold something caught my eye. There was a post that states, "If I recieve an envelope, which contains an information stating when I will die, would I open the envelope?" My immediate answer was, NO. I will not open the letter. Why would I? I would rather go on living my life the way I would want to, then to worry about living with fear that I would die on a particular date. If one lives life without regret, then there is nothing that should stop him/her from going on life as it is. I would want death to surprise me. Interestingly on the other hand there are many who live their life as though they are going to live forever, postponing many a matter for tomorrow, wanting to do it another day at an opportune time. It could be something as simple as "hello how are you?", "I love you.", or "I am sorry." But many are caught up with the mundane of day to day living or even seeking to satiate the immediate pleasures in life, that by the time they realise, they would have missed meaningfulness, it would be too late.

Try to nap after that, I just couldn't, because the reflection kept my cerebrum awaken. So did the next best thing, caught an action movie on Netflix.         

Dinner by Greeja, My Best Half

Dinner was ready, but I have already started with a glass of Malbec, it went well with the spagetti after that. It was a sumptious dinner, and was catching up with my nephew Kavin, who dropped by. The food tasted great because it was cooked with love, the dinner felt great because of the warmth of being with the family. Moments like this is when one feels contented and fulfilled. It would have been complete if Raviena, my parents and my sister Vani and her family were here. That will be in good times.

 

Birthday Cake and Portugese Egg Tarts by Roshen and Dhivyaa

No birthday is complete without a birthday cake, followed by sweet indulgence. It is a state of bliss. But life is not all about bed of roses. It has its ups and downs, going with the flow of the journey one has decided. But like they say, never a journey complete without the companionship of friends. My classmates from school, John, Raj, and Dass wished me early. We were together since standard One, till high school. We know our secrets and naughty thoughts. Life then was without inhibition, carefree, only stopped short because we didn't have the means, but we made do with what we had. 

Then came the video call from my Nanbans (நண்பன் aka friends) from Class 87, USM. For the last 34 years we had an unbroken relationship, crossing many challenges and tribulations. Despite our distance and diversities in our profession we stood steadfast with our bonding. Lending a ear when in need, partaking in happiness and sadness of each other and their families. Thank you Jega, Megan, Ganason, Selva, Sugu, Dorett and Raja Saar for not only making my birthday complete but also being the pillar, holding C87 together.   

I poured my favourite Jameson

As the day ended, I came across another post on FB that asks, "Will we remain faithful to our spouses, children, relatives, friends, nation and God until the very end?"  Well I thought why should one be faithful, instead it should be "meaningful". Faithful sounds enslaving, and when one is faithful, the chances of being blind to perversity of the other would be there. 

"To Live Is The Rarest Thing In The World. Most People Exist, That's All."

Oscar Wilde

CHEERS,

  

TO MORE YEARS OF WIT, WISDOM  AND WHISKEY

(That was Raviena's Wishes for Me)

LETS CELEBRATE LIFE FOR LIFE ITSELF 

  Ravi Varmman, 105721092021, Subang Jaya.

ON 58TH MALAYSIA DAY

 

I was musing over Adzhar Ibrahims ponder on FMT today entitled "Let's Reboot Malaysia and Invite Brunei, Singapore Again." (original article link attached)

Adzhar Ibrahim means well and in the "True Spirit of Malaysia" this notion should be welcomed. But unfortunately the truth is far from that. Every Malaysian today are critically facing identity crisis. Malaysia today is categorically divided by race and religion, where every entity has cocooned itself within it's own construct promoting exclusivity.

The notion of INCLUSIVITY by virtue of UNITY IN DIVERSITY as Malaysian, is broken. We have moved from accepting diversity to tolerating it. That is indeed sad. Gone were the days when the sense of brotherhood or for the matter sisterhood overode every differences that we had. Somewhere along the way this EMOTION had been hijacked. What is left now is a fractured nation, searching for its soul.

But not all is lost, I see that the millenials today are looking at the nation with a completely different lense. Their voices are becoming louder, and they are seeking sociopolitical legitimacy towards building their "TANAH TUMPAH DARAHKU" (The Land Where My Blood Spilled) the way the Founding Fathers of this Nation wanted.

With so much taint, I do not think we have anything to offer to either Singapore or Brunei, to be part of a propounded notion called Greater Malaysia.

And before we can even offer an olive branch to others, we have a lot of soul searching to do, to correct our mistakes, before we can make our Nation Great again.

Like the caption above we all MUST see ourselves as MALAYSIANS First, no colour or creed should be reflected in front of the JALUR GEMILANG (Malaysian Flag)

SELAMAT(kan) HARI MALAYSIA

https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/opinion/2021/09/16/lets-reboot-malaysia-and-invite-brunei-singapore-again/?fbclid=IwAR2Nx4Qz5oKOpQEgS2MRlVP6B-bqknet72b11yuP-do2_Pq7lS9QlN82qEw

Ravi Varmman, Subang Jaya, 022216092021

 

WHERE DO I BUY WISDOM

Vegetarian Lunch Today

Payasam (Milk Based Sweet Dessert)

Today is VINAYAKA CHATHURTI, a festival celebrated for Lord Ganesha, who is also popularly known as the Elephant God. 

But did you know that Lord Ganesha is the manifestation of the "INTELLECT". Many are consumed with the ritual of the celebration, not realising the philosophy of what Lord Ganesha epitomises. Lord Ganesha is worshipped as the enabler who removes all obstacles in life. Hence everyone who prescribes to Sanatana Dharma (aka Hinduism) will start their daily activities and began all important events in their lifes by seeking the blessings of Lord Ganesha.

On a ritualistic level, upon prostrating to Lord Ganesha, before the start of the day or event, is an action to psyche ones mind to have clarity and confidence, that everything will go as planned. The method of prostration applied to Lord Ganesha is called the "Thopukaranam." It is a Yoga action where one crosses their arm across the face, where the thumb and index fingers clips both ear lobes, and while doing so one has to do squat down and up. In Yoga practices it is called the Superbrain Yoga, where it facilitates the concentration of the mind, and also activates the parts of the brain that helps to attain higher sense of alertness. This action synchronises the alpha mind waves and siultaneously stimulates and initiates the cerebrum. Therefore the overall action increases ones thinking capacity, concentration, as well as mental and spiritual growth.  

Even the ritual connected to Lord Ganesha speaks volume of the mind, what more then its salient philosophy behind it. Intelligence and experience are vital elements in ones accumulation of wisdom. There are many intelligent people out there, but unfortunately not all have availed themselves to experience, hence many lack wisdom. Success and failures are both equally important in the quest to gain wisdom. Unfortunately many intelligent people prefer to seek safe passage in the journey called life, moving from one phase of life to another in a shielded cocoon. Predictability stifles intellectual progression. 

Lord Ganesha reminds us that wisdom is not something we can merely learn from existing knowledge, but one has to have strong conviction about ones capability and clarity of mind in pursuing any action. By this contention, it is clear that, merely knowing how to swim, would not be enough, but one must have the intelligence to know the conditions of salt water and fresh water are different or for that matter the current in a river would act differently from the current in the sea. Thus with clear wisdom one can better prepare to face any circumstances with ease. 

Beyond the expected Divine Intervention, there is an element of science and logic that goes in the celebration of Vinayaka Chathurthi.

In the mood of celebrating this significant festival, I prepared a vegetarian lunch for the family. The spread of the meal itself is a reflection of human emotions. In Tamizh we call it "Arusuvai" (Six taste of Food). It had Thuvarpu (Astringent) - Surprise; Kasappu (Bitter) - Sorrow; Kaarppu (Pungent) - Anger; Oovarppu (Salty) - Fear; Pulippu (Sour) - Disgust; Innipu (Sweet) - Happiness. Reflecting on our emotions via food would help us understand and manage the moods that we are susceptible to. Whether everyone at home reflected or not, I don't know, but judging from their actions (having afternoon snooze) definitely they had a scrumptious meal.    

The values propounded are universal, it may have been conveyed and ritualised differently, but the message is clear, "Our Destiny Is In Our Hands, With Clarity Of Thought and Action, We Can Make The World A Better Place." 

Vinayaka Chathurthi Greeting To All

Ravi Varmman

Subang Jaya 

041510092021   

 

Brotherhood in Humanity

The Sundial Chakra at Konark Sun Temple, Bubaneshwar, Odisa, India.

"When a warrior fights not for himself, but for his brothers, when his most passionately sought goal is neither glory nor his own life’s preservation, but to spend his substance for them, his comrades, not to abandon them, not to prove unworthy of them, then his heart truly has achieved contempt for death, and with that he transcends himself and his actions touch the sublime."

Steven Pressfield - Gates of Fire

These words are very powerful, which resonates what humanity is all about. It is about collective consciousness, for a common good. The meaningfulness of every action determines the purpose of our existence.

I was watching the medical drama Code Black, and saw the dramatization of what goes behind the Emergency Room in a hospital. Though a fictionalised depiction, but it makes absolute sense of the fragility of life, and what holds this fragile life is the role of every individual in the ER, total strangers, in doing their best to keep every person reeled in alive.

Only if more people realise that life is fragile, more will do to take care of it, and not be carried away with the false notion of permenance.

Life is like the juxtaposition of the sundial above, on one hand, day after day it shows the exact time, but like the Chakra above, life, one the other hand, evolves in a circle between life and death. Neither can one control time nor one can stop the evolution towards death, but definitely what and how we do, within that frame is entirely up to the beholder.  

Ravi Varmman, Subang Jaya, 002707092021

Is This The Beginning of The End (read COVID 19 PANDEMIC)

 

A dear friend of mine ask me these question today:

1. Wonder if all these will go away?

2. Or is it a sign from GOD that the world is ending?

That got me thinking, but my instant reaction was, I told her, "This Too Shall Pass". 

When Arjuna was hesitant to engage war with his uncles and cousins in the Mahabaratham War, Krishna who was his advisor cum charioter said this to Arjuna,

"O son of Kunti, the non-permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their dissappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharatham, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed." - Bhagavath Geethai 2.14.  

Almost all calamities that befall humanity is "MADE BY HUMAN". Occasionally we have the earth naturally rebalancing itself, particularly geological shifts, and this can have an impact both on climate, which in turn can affect the food chain, and therefore causing the extinction or raise of flora & fauna and life forms (from an amoeba to Humans). 

However human activities from dawn of civilization, has added on the pressure to artificially exacerbate this process. Sociotechnological advancement and Ravaging of The Earth have a symbiotic relationship, almost a "Chicken or Egg" dilemma. 

In my respond to my friend, I said, if you are worried about the End of World, don't worry, we would be long dead by then and so will your children and their children, and their childrens children ........ 

I guess my friend's concern was based on the fact that we are currently going through the last Yugam (age of time) of the 4 Yugams of a Kalpa (Eon). If anyone wondering what is this all about, well this is the ancient Indian cosmology which calculates cosmic cycle of creation and destruction. 

From that perspective, the current cycle is call the Kaliyugam which is the last of the 4 of this Kalpa. Which means the end of a cycle, whereby it is the end of the world as we know now.  But hold your horses, the Kaliyugam is to last for 432,000 years. The Kali Yugam began 5,122 years ago and has another 426,878 years left as of 2021 CE. Therefore the Kali Yugam will end in the year 428,899 CE. 

So meanwhile, all we have to do is to ride through this pandemic, until such time when Covid19 becomes acclimatise to human, like the common flu, which I think will not be too far off. 

At this stage almost everyone has lost someone close, to Covid19. Just 2 weeks ago, I lost my cousin to this deadly parasite. Last year I lost another cousin but, to cancer. Did you know that in the year 2020, 10 million people have died of cancer and according to WHO that is the current approximation of death annually, for sometime now. In contrast the total death owing to Covid 19 since it was first detected about 2 years ago is only about 4.4 million people. I am not comparing, but although the inevitability of death is apparent from myriad of sources, but the euphoric reception given to Covid19, had made death and fear of dying a predominant volition that seem to be deeply embedded in everyone mind. 

At the end of the day, death is the only thing that is CERTAIN in life. 

But we can't be living for death, instead we have to live our lifes (no matter how short it maybe). We should stop thinking about "what if" and pursue "what should". 

The GOD concept is the energy of this "existence", hence it is passive. There is no such thing as bad energy or good energy, energy is energy, but how the "existence" construct itself would determine the outcome. 

Prayer, parigaram (penannce), spiritual pursuits are all but means to tap into this energy to harmonize it to oneself. Beyond that the energy radiates exponentially, without course, cause or conviction, only humans foolishly think that they can contain it. 

Well those guys at CERN have done extensive work on the GOD particle, and have made much breakthrough in tapping into the energy field. Great, but even they know their limitations. But then again isn't that what humanity has done todate, to push the boundary of knowledge and experience as far as it's imagination and intelligence go. 

We are alive today, we should celebrate our existence with purposeful pursuits. Let us not worry about the after life, let us make this life meaningful to us and to the people around us.

The pandemic had given us time and space to reflect, hope this experience have taught us how to be HUMAN again.

Ravi Varmman 160822082021

Subang Jaya

Happy Father's Day To My Dear Pappa

It was 1974, I still remember, a monsoon afternoon, and we little Indian boys were waiting for our Tamil teacher Mr Narayanasamy to take on our "peoples own language" (POL) Tamil class. It's a common scenario then, in non vernacular schools, in this case Tamil was taught as an additional subject by a guest teacher. Anyway that is not the story I am about to tell you.

But on that unfortunate day, Mr Narayanasamy was late, and we had the entire classroom for ourselves, and since the classroom was rather isolated from other classes, we also had the privacy to do as we like. So then began our ruckus, dancing and jumping and doing everything primary school boys and girls will do. 

I was a little (actually a lot more) boisterous and climbed on the table and began gyrating, strumming to an air guitar. Seeing this my dear friend Raj Kumar got excited, ran towards me from the back and gave a big slap on my buttocks, and I tumbled onto the floor. When I got out from the daze I realised a sharp pain on my elbow, and everyone was looking at me, particularly at my arms with their mouths open wide in utter shock. Only then I realised that I had dislocated my elbow, and basically my arms were dangling off tangent. My instant reaction was directed to Raj, with utmost anger, and the first thing I uttered to him was, "who is going to pay for my arm?" And I started crying, loudly with 3 emotions, rolled into 1, firstly was from the pain, second was my anger to Raj and third was the fear of facing my Pappa. By now many would have wondered, why am I telling this story, when the title is Happy Fathers Day to my Pappa. Hold your horses, will come to that shortly.

By now I could see the horror in the faces of my classmates, more importantly my friend Raj who had this "saw a ghost-like look". He profusely said he was sorry, but I was not in the right frame of mind to respond. Perumal Dass, another dear friend of mine, who is known as Mr Fixit, took charge of the situation, and brought me to the office, me still crying, with Raj and others tagging along. 

Our discipline master at that time was Cikgu Susah Bin Kasadimin (I am not joking it is his real name, and I do not think any of my classmates will ever forget Cikgu Susah.) He clarified with us as to what transpired, but insisted that I should get treated immediately. So got into his car, and he brought me to the Segamat Government Hospital. On the way to the hospital Cikgu Susah mentioned that he has instructed the office to inform my Pappa on the matter. The moment he mentioned my Pappa, my heart sank and began to furiously pound, and suddenly the the fear of facing my Pappa overtook the pain in my arm.

My father Mr  Kanniappan Kutta Reddy, was a teacher, and since Segamat was a small town, basically everyone in the fraternity knows each other. In fact my Pappa knew the details of my report card even before I could present it to him, so that's how life was then, no escape. 

At the hospital upon registering while awaiting treatment, my mind was totally blanked out, and the only thought on my mind was how am I going to face my Pappa and what was I going to tell him. Then he appeared from the sliding door, came straight to me with his menacing eyes, and gave a hard pinging slap that shocked Cikgu Susah and the medical assistant who was attending to me. Suddenly both their attention were on my Pappa, and Cigku Susah was trying to calm him down asking my Pappa to be patient, after all, Ravi was just a kid. Immediately after the slap, and as he calmed, he held my shoulders and asked me this, "is it painful?" And I was wondering whether he was asking me about my arm or the slap. 

I cried and said "yes it was", seeking attention, either way, both types of pain needed comfort. Then while still holding my shoulders, he asked me what had happened and I narrated to him in between my pitiful sobs, but the story was definitely twisted to make Raj Kumar the villain. At the end of the story, he calmly said, "this would not have happened if you were not on top of the table in the first place." So the rational side of my Pappa shone through.  Just then the Hospital Assistant (HA) Uncle Nadaraja walked in with my X-Ray, and my Pappa's attention was diverted to him, and in a pensive mood he asked about my circumstances. As Uncle Nadaraja was explaining, my Pappa was very attentive and I could see the worry on his face. But Uncle Nadaraja assured my Pappa that with proper intervention my arms can be fixed since there weren't any fracture. But I will need to go to Melaka General Hospital, as they do not have an orthopedic specialist in Segamat. 

My transfer to Melaka could only be  done the next day, and i would have to stay a night in Segamat hospital. I was scared, first time being admitted, plus I am placed in a twin sharing 2nd class ward and there weren't any other patients in the room. My Pappa stayed with me that night, and in the morning, he went back home to take his shower, and applied for leave for that day. By the time he came back, guess what?  Raj Kumar came to visit me with his uncle, Uncle Vadivelu and another family friend of ours Uncle K.S Maniam. Raj came to apologise to me and and also apologised to my Pappa. Therein Raj and me had to listen to almost 1 hour of pep talk from all the three gentlemen, who happen to be teachers themselves on the virtues of being "good boys," and at the end we were made to shake hands. That was surely one long hour.

After they left, it was time for me to leave to Melaka, but I did not know that I was to ride on the ambulance. I was terrified and insisted that my Pappa takes me to Melaka instead, but hospital protocol, I have to be on the ambulance. Guess what?  My Pappa agreed that he will follow the ambulance and so he did, drove his car all the way to Melaka hospital. 

Once we got to the Hospital and when all formalities were done, it was time for my Pappa to leave and once again I insisted he stayed with me, and so he took another day off and stayed with me till the next day just about after visiting hours ended in the evening. Meanwhile he made arrangements with his friends from Melaka to visit me in between to keep me company, in his absence during the day. So from then on for the next 14 days till I got discharged from the hospital, he drove everyday to Melaka after work, from Segamat, travelling 2 hours 1 way, spending a few hours with me and returning back to Segamat. 

On top of that somewhere in the second week, my baby sister was having breathing difficulties, and was admitted in Segamat Hospital, and despite that, he still made his trips to Melaka to visit me, after looking into my baby sister's needs.  

Thus was my father, a strict disciplinarian on one extreme and a person with bountiful love on the other end of the spectrum.

He became a friend when he gave his helping hand in picking me up and guiding me through a personal misadventure I had endured in my early adulthood. That day I realised my Pappa's love for me and the extent he would go to look after my well being. 

For that matter I would also have to thank my late Uncle Appu (Uncle Jeyaretnam) who not only cared for me as a father but also as friend in handling my anguish during that time. 

I was fortunate to have several people who played that role as a father and friend, and another person I should be greatful to is late Uncle Arumugam, who gave me the wisdom to be wilfull and take life as it comes.

And then there was late Uncle Kamalanathan, who was a fantastic cook, with green fingers, a man who knows how to party and was great on his accordian. But beyond that he was a man of patients and meticulousness. I learned how to be grounded and be a practical person facing any adverseries that life throws at you. 

Today my Pappa is 82 years old,, having just celebrated his birthday in June 17.  He has physically slowed down but mentally his faculties are as sharp as ever, always ready for an engagement. I would embarassingly say that I have had my fair share of war of words with my Pappa. But as soon as it is over the next moment we act as though nothing has happened and continue with a cordial conversation. That is how it is with me and my Pappa.  

His greatest passion revolves around cars. He was one of the earliest Indians in Segamat to own a car. It began with a Morris Minor in 1961 and now currently owns a BMW 525, and he still drives, though we have imposed restrictions on his driving.  

By the way my Pappa is an absolute teetotaler, but his father was the exact opposite and so were all his friends. Somehow it skipped a generation and I have joined my Thaatha (Grandfather), but todate I have never consumed the "fire water" in front of him. Of course he knows I drink. Perhaps I am old school, but more importantly the respect and love I have for my Pappa is bigger than me.

To my Pappa, thank you for being there at different phases of my life. There were times I hated you, but retrospectively looking at it later, I realised that it was my own indequacies that led to your stern and sometimes harsh actions. 

Today, I am a father myself, and I can empathize with what you have gone through bringing up Vani, Thara and me. 

I humbly prostrate at  your feet to seek BLESSINGS FROM YOU, MY DEAR PAPPA  and AMMA.

Ravi Varmman

170020062021

Subang Jaya