Finally you can fire up the stove, and let the main ingredients to cook. You can put a lid on so that it cooks well.
I was inspired to write this piece after my recent encounter
with FEAR in Sri Lanka. A feeling that was long forgotten by me, caught up with
my existential self.
I was in a situation recently that should have put me in the
utmost fear. But for whatever reason, the fear did not engulf me, instead, my
entire focus was channeled towards getting out of that tight spot as best as my
roommate and I could. Even after out of danger, my friend and I together with
the rest were focused in making sure all of us got out safely.
Well, only after an hour out of harm’s way, my legs started
to wobble a little. I guess the adrenaline rush just then was weaning off.
Fear is a natural psychological reaction when one is caught
in a situation which they are not in control of. However, what is most
important is not so much the fear itself but how we handle this fear. I still
remember making a ruckus wanting to go back while watching the movie Gumnaam (a
Hindi movie), so my Pappa had to bring me back home, while my Amma and Aunty
continued watching the movie. Mind you this happened in 1966 when I was a mere
3year old, and I can still vividly remember it till today, such is the power of
fear.
But of course I have come past that a long time ago. But
retrospectively looking at life, I have come across some of the most defining
moments, and fear following me throughout.
However, what made the difference was the way I handled it to-date.
What is the worst that can happen to one, ultimately it is
death. If one can accept death and does
not fear the inevitable death, then there is nothing to fear, at all.
The Buddha in his teachings had emphasized the practice of
Maranasati or the mindfulness of death as a way to confront and accept
mortality. In the conversation between Yudishithira and Yaksha in the
Mahabharatha (the episode of Yaksha Prashna), one question posed was, “What is
the greatest wonder in the world?” Yudhishithira’s answer was, “Day after Day,
countless creatures go to the abode of Yama (death), yet those who remain
desire to live forever. This is the greatest wonder.”
According to psychologists, fear is basically an emotional
response triggered by a specific perceived threat. The brain’s amygdala and
hypothalamus kick in to survival mode where the body could respond in 3 ways: FIGHT, FLIGHT or FREEZE. At that point the
adrenaline and cortisol rush would determine how one manages the threat.
Interestingly the fear of the known seem to be easier to manage than the fear
of the unknown. I guess when one is dealing with a known threat, the hindsight
knowledge one has allows the person to better prepare, rationalize and cope
with the impending threat. Whereas when the fear culminates from a threat that
is unknown, it definitely creates uncertainty and a lack of control to the
person and eventually amplifying anxiety.
Greeja and I were once caught in the Trafalgar Square,
during a London Mob (it’s London, so anytime is a good time for a bovver), an
experience we will never forget. It was extremely overwhelming, people running
in all directions, and with both the perpetrators and enforcement personnel
engaging head on. In the midst of the chaos the most likely thing that can
happen is both of us may get separated, which we did for a good 5 minutes, when
someone just shoved his way between us which broke our clutched hands. I turned
around and within minutes Greeja was out of my sight. The fear of something
happening to her made me break out in a sweat, but thank God she was pushed to
a wall and I managed to reach her and we started walking the opposite direction
away from the mob. But for that moment the fear of losing her engulfed me,
though just minutes before we got separated we did agree, that in the event
we do get separated, we will not waste our time looking for each
other in the riot but will head straight to our hotel and meet up there.
Thus were some of the moments in my life where I faced some
of the worst fears. But it is nothing compared to many historical figures who
saw death staring straight into their eyes and yet they continued to strife to
pursue their course. Alexander Solzhenitsyn who faced brutality and certain
death whilst imprisoned in the Russian Gulag by the order of Stalin, continued
to write exposing Stalin’s totalitarianism. Or for that matter, nothing compares
to the sacrifice of Kuyili, the Commander in chief of the Udaiyal Womens Army to
Rani Velu Naatchiyaar in 1780. Where Kuyili, applied ghee to her body,
self-immolated and jumped into the British Ammunition depot in Sivagangga,
Tamil Nadu, which gave Rani Velu Natchiyaar the advantage to defeat the British
and the Nawab of Arcot. I dared not imagine what ran in the mind of Kuyili, at
that moment when she decided to leap into the arsenal ablaze.
These are moments where the “FEAR” of a bigger call diminishes the individuals “fear” of an imminent threat or even death.
I would end my thought with a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson,
“The hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes
longer.”
Hence my only hope is, next time when I am in a tight spot
which threatens my existence, I would have the wisdom to exercise that FIVE
MINUTES.
Cheers.
ravivarmmankkanniappan@2014121920243.0567° N, 101.5851° E
I saw this recipe on Youtube the other day, and since Greeja said that she would want to do a simple western dinner, I thought this would be a good accompaniment.
எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம் உய்வில்லை
செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு
yendhnanri konraarkkum uivuntaam uivillai
seindhnanri konra makatrku
There may be
redemption for those who even commit murder, but there is no salvation for
those who are ingratitude.
The above couplet
110 from Thirukural written by Thiruvalluvar (the famed Tamizh Philosopher, Saint,
circa 500ce) shows the importance of gratitude in human relationships.
Thiruvalluvar says that even a person who has taken someone else’s life could
seek absolution but not for a person who betrays gratitude.
The concept of
gratitude seems to be slowly eroding today and it appears that a lot has to do
with the evolution of self-concept. Whether
as an individual or as a communal entity, people are aggressively promoting
exclusivity rather than inclusivity. Once there was a notion that via
globalization people of the world would converge into an inclusive global
community, but this is far from the reality. We are more fragmented as a nation,
what more amongst nations. Ethnic identity supersedes national interests and
the creation of social cohesion and justice.
With all that is
happening at both micro and macro level, how does then the concept of gratitude
sit from a relational perspective.
To expound the
cause and effect of this dilemma, I would like to narrate the story of Queen Kaikeyi
and King Dasharatha in the epic of Ramayana. Queen Kaikeyi fought with valour
to safe her husband King Dasharatha from a certain death. As gratitude for saving
his life Dasharatha gave Queen Kaikeyi two boons, which she said she will
exercise it at a later time. That time came when Dasharatha wanted to abdicate
his Kingdom and wanted to crown Prince Rama as the new king by virtue of he
being the first born to the eldest of the three Queens, Queen Kausalya.
This was where the
second queen, Queen Kaikeyi wanted her son Prince Barathan to be appointed rather
than Rama. Thus began the treachery where she used her boons not only to make
Prince Bharathan as the King but also to banish Prince Rama and his wife Sita
in exile for 14 years, and hereon began the epic Ramayana.
In this scenario King
Dasharatha felt betrayed by the action of Queen Kaikeyi, which eventually led
to his death not only owing to a broken heart but also the fact that he had
exiled Prince Rama and Princess Sita. By applying the virtue of the Thirukural
above, this betrayal exemplifies the violation of the deepest trust between
husband and wife. The Thirukural also says that any boon stemming from
gratitude should only be used for noble or virtuous causes and not one that
reeks of self-centredness.
Queen Kaikeyi’s
action did not only end with losing her husband but she also lost her son
Prince Bharathan’s love and lived in isolation in the Kingdom. Prince Bharathan
adored Prince Rama and totally despised his mother’s treachery. In fact he
promised that he will never sit on the throne of Ayodhya, and would merely act
as an administrator until the return of Prince Rama after his exile.
Nothing depicts more
the cause and consequence of ingratitude like the above excerpt from the
Ramayana.
In modern times I
still remember the intervention of the US in Afghanistan upon Soviet Union
invasion in 1979. In the name of liberating Afghanistan, through what was known
as Operation Cyclone, the CIA funded and trained local Mujahedeen fighters to
take up arms against the presence of Soviet Union. The Mujahedeen were truly grateful
to the US for eventually freeing Afghanistan in 1989 from the Soviet Union.
However, after the
conflict ended, the US gradually pulled out of Afghanistan leaving a power
vacuum, when the people of Afghanistan and the Mujahedeen expected the US to continue
their funding and support to rehabilitate a war torn country. The Mujahedeen
specifically felt betrayed because they supported the US to fit a bigger agenda
that is the ongoing cold war between the US and the Soviet Union. It appeared
that the US merely used Afghanistan as a war theatre to show their superiority against
the Soviet Union.
This eventually led
to total chaos in Afghanistan which fell into another round of civil conflict
which went on for another 20 years. During this period we saw the rise of the Taliban,
and the birth of the Al Qaedah which eventually unleashed global terror. This
incident reflects the consequences when commitment and gratitude in
international relations is not honoured.
In a consumerist
world that we live today, the presence of transactional relationship appears to
be overwhelmingly present which negates the depth and authenticity of
meaningful relationship to mere exchange of materialistic value rather than
establishing relationships that are based on trust, empathy and mutual respect.
Transactional relationship increases sense of competition and comparison where
one’s self worth is measured by external validation rather than an internalized
self-awareness on virtuous existence.
In such muddled socio-dynamics,
the concept of gratitude would be lost in translation. From personal conflict to
global altercation, very often we see, despite all efforts taken to find
solutions, the conflicting parties neither have respect for each other nor the
arbitrator who has come forward to help to resolve the matter. In many cases
the intervenor becomes subject to abuse and torment.
During the ethnic
conflict between the Hutu majority and Tutsi minority in Rwanda, the United
Nations Peacekeeping Forces under the banner of United Nations Assistance
Mission for Rwanda (UNAMIR) was sent to Rwanda to monitor and promote the peace
agreement between the Rwandan government and Rwandan Patriotic Front (a Tutsi
rebel group). But what is now known as the Rwandan Genocide of 1994 saw one of
the worst human atrocities committed in modern times, where the UN peacekeeping
forces were not only powerless to stop the carnage but they themselves succumbed
to threat, torture and death during that period. The head of the mission a
Canadian, General Romeo Dallaire in a dejected voice was recorded saying, “I
felt betrayed by humanity”, not only because his team faced the said onslaught but
also the lack of support by the world to the mission itself.
I am sure many of
us may have inevitably faced scenario of ingratitude within our circle of
family, friends and colleagues. The emotional hurt would be greater than the
materialistic loss, especially when the person who commits such an action is
someone that you were close too and trusted. I guess the reason why the hurt
becomes very draining is because there was an element of reciprocity and
expectation in that relationship, especially when you have been sincere.
In the Bhagavad
Gita, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna, as a warrior, Arjuna should fulfill his
responsibilities without being overwhelmed by the fear of loss or even being
happy if he triumphs. Here Lord Krishna emphasizes on the concept of Nishkama
Karma (selfless action) which translates, “to perform one’s duty without the
attachment to the results”.
I have been
adhering to this philosophy for some time now. It definitely makes my life less
stressful. When for example I help someone, I take it that I am doing it
because “I want to” and “it is within my capacity to do so”, and if I can’t
then so be it. I do not carry any guilt for my inability to be of help nor
expect any gratitude in return should I render the help.
Nothing in modern
literature captures this thought better than Rudyard Kiplings “If”.
If
If you can dream—and not make dreams
your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your
winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
The absence of gratitude, when viewed from an emotional perspective, certainly has devastating consequences. However, if we rise above this feeling and act without any expectations – doing good simply because we want to – then events like Lord Hanuman burning the city of Lanka or for that matter, the September 9/11 attacks, would not have taken place.
ravivarmmankkanniappan@151614112024 Latitude, 3° 8' 48.56"N ; Longitude, 101° 32' 20.70"E
“Instead of dying with disappointment, I would rather a
deceit that gives me life" a quote attributed to Pierre Corneille, a
17th-century French dramatist. This line reflects themes of resilience and
choosing life over despair, consistent with Corneille's exploration of complex
human emotions in his plays.
From the Theatre of Illusion, by Pierre Corneille (translated
By Richard Wilbur) Act 2, Scene 2:
“Clindor, a young
picaresque hero, has been living by his wits in Paris, but has now drifted to
Bordeaux, to become the valet of a braggart bravo named Matamore. He is chiefly
employed as a go-between, carrying Matamore's amorous messages to the beautiful
Isabelle—who only suffers the master because she is in love with the messenger.”
An anonymous said “truth can be an expensive commodity
because it often requires courage, sacrifice, and the willingness to face
uncomfortable realities”.
Hence seeking and telling the truth can lead to personal,
social, or professional costs, which includes damaged reputations or most often
strained relationships.
With this in mind, while inherently valuable, truth demands a
price that may not be naturally volunteered.
That brings us to the paradox between truth and social
justice.
Whilst in pursuit of social justice it often involves
magnifying fringe interests and experiences, it may not align neatly with
“established truths”. Therefore, in the process of trying to balance honesty
with empathy and fairness, it can affect the dynamics between preserving facts
and promoting relationship equity.
Whether its private lives or public, building relationship equity
is critical in order to foster strong personal and professional relationship which
in turn can improve communication and increase commitment to that bond. However,
this state of meaningfulness can only be attained through consistent positive interaction,
shared experience and mutual support between individuals as well as with other
social constructs that the individuals belong to.
In this context I would like to bring forth the concept of “Vyavaharika Satya” (practical truth) which was liberally exercised
in the Mahabharata. The Mahabharata itself is an epic poem that was written weaving
intricate relationships and moral dilemmas about the complexities of human
relationships towards the preservation of relational equity.
As much as the Mahabharata upholds virtue ethics as its
primary philosophy, it also acknowledges the complexities that “truth” posts,
and therefore it sees concealing truth or bending truth is a necessary evil for
the greater good.
To share one incident in the Mahabharata, the “truth conflict” that occurred between
Yudhisthira and Drona. Yudhishthira who was an epitome of righteousness was
asked to inform Drona (who was his mentor) that his son Ashwatthama was dead.
The truth was an elephant by the name of Ashwatthama was killed in the battle,
but hearing that his son was dead, Drona threw down his weapons in all sadness,
which eventually cost his death. This episode was considered to be one of the
most contentious moral dilemma portrayed in Mahabharata. However, the death of
Drona was critical in the Bharath war, as it brought an end to further
bloodshed because Drona had immense destructive capabilities. This event instantiates
that literal truths can be sacrificed if the act brings greater good or prevent
greater harm.
The world today is facing even greater relational complexities,
more so the need for broader understanding of consequences rather than one’s
action. As the song goes “honesty is a such a lonely word” (Billy Joel), we
have to tread it wisely and tactfully but that should not be seen as a passport
to deceive. Weigh whether the truth will build or destroy, and use compassion when
making that decision.
Interestingly the Mahabharata provides a nuanced perspective of
truth and in the pursuit of establishing relational equity. Contextual
sensitivity and the adherence to compassion are seen as the very essence for
the purpose of creating a “meaningful existential equation”.
That reminds me of Viktor Frankl, in his book, Man’s search
for Meaning, who says, “Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing:
the last of the human freedom – to choose one’s attitude in any given
circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl a proponent of logotherapy,
propounds that even in suffering people can find purpose through love,
creativity, and endure hardship with dignity.
But then again if truth is beknown, we don’t need divine
intervention, do we?
I will leave you with that thought.
Cheers.
ravivarmmankkanniappan@143005112024Latitude, 3° 8' 48.56"N ; Longitude, 101° 32' 20.70"E
The name Vishwamitra translates to "Universal Friend," symbolizing
an individual whose essence is deeply rooted in being a friend to all.
According to ancient texts, Vishwamitra was born as Prince Kaushika, ascending
the throne after his father, King Gadhi of Kanyakubja, grew old. Married to
Princess Madhavi, he was a father to four sons and a daughter. His life took a
transformative turn after encountering the enlightened Brahmarishi Vashishta,
inspiring him to renounce his throne and pursue the path of asceticism. This
began his arduous journey to attain the title of Brahmarishi (sage), conferred
upon him by none other than Vashishta himself. Beyond his personal journey of
self-discovery, Vishwamitra played an essential role in the Ramayana, where he
served as the preceptor of Rama and Lakshmana, guiding them on the path of
righteousness.
In embodying the meaning of his name, Vishwamitra emerged as a true
"Universal Friend," not solely as a ruler but as a sage. As a king,
he initially pursued conquest and power, but soon realized that in seeking
greater meaning, the injustices he had once imposed would be the greatest
betrayal of humanity. This realization compelled him to renounce his throne and
embark on a transformative journey, shifting from self-centered desires to
selflessness. His legacy became a testament to his commitment to the welfare of
all.
Vishwamitra went on to compose the Gayatri Mantra, one of
Hinduism's most revered hymns, which continues to serve as a universal invocation
for wisdom and enlightenment, transcending all boundaries. The mantra, from the
Rigveda (3.62.10), reads:
"Om Bhur Bhuvaḥ Svaḥ
Tat Savitur Vareṇyaṃ
Bhargo Devasya Dhīmahi
Dhiyo Yo Naḥ Pracodayāt"
In essence, this prayer calls upon the divine to illuminate all
realms—physical, mental, and spiritual—and bestow true knowledge, removing
darkness from the heart.
As a guru to Rama and Lakshmana, Vishwamitra led them towards dharma
(righteousness), even in the face of powerful adversaries.
Through rigorous inner awakening, he transcended human emotions that cloud
judgment, extracting ego from his psyche and establishing inner peace. This
newfound harmony shaped his worldview and underscored his commitment to
compassion, which he believed was essential for social harmony. Vishwamitra's
emphasis on inclusivity reflected his vision of universal friendship.
Vishwamitra's legacy remains a profound inspiration, demonstrating that even
the most formidable obstacles can be overcome through faith and perseverance.
His journey showcases the transformative potential of determination, faith, and
the human spirit. Brahmarishi Vishwamitra’s philosophy serves as a powerful
reminder of the importance of inner growth and selflessness.
In modern times, it is evident why Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi has
invoked the principles of "Vishwamitra Diplomacy" in the realm of
global geopolitics. The world today is far more complex than it was fifty years
ago. The traditional geopolitical structures of the Cold War have dissolved, and
the rise of China and India has introduced transformative shifts that challenge
the established U.S.-centric world order. Domestic fragmentation within the
U.S. and a fractured global landscape have given rise to ideological extremism
as a reaction to socio-political disenfranchisement.
The recent BRICS summit offered a glimmer of hope, demonstrating a potential
for cooperative solutions to counter extremism. The fact that the leaders of
China and India met for the first time in five years since the Galwan Valley
incident and agreed on mutual de-escalation speaks volumes. The induction of
Iran as a full member—despite its ongoing tensions with Israel and U.S.
sanctions—is a significant milestone. If global peace is indeed a priority,
nations should embrace Vishwamitra Diplomacy.
The Principles of Vishwamitra Diplomacy
Vishwamitra Diplomacy is an approach grounded in harmony, unity, and
self-transformation for the greater good. This diplomatic model emphasizes
conflict resolution through wisdom, patience, inclusivity, and a steadfast
commitment to mutual respect, rejecting the use of force or aggression.
Central to Vishwamitra Diplomacy is the idea that nations should engage in
self-reflection and work towards continuously improving socio-political
relations. This approach involves acknowledging existing biases and addressing
them collaboratively. Nations in conflict should first engage in inward
reflection, fostering self-growth as a precursor to peaceful resolution.
Brahmarishi Vishwamitra's teachings emphasize that sustainable solutions
require an open and inclusive platform for dialogue that respects ideological
diversity, cultural heterogeneity, and varied perspectives. In today’s
fragmented world, this inclusive approach is critical for building sustainable
peace.
Rooted in dharma (righteousness), Vishwamitra Diplomacy would
encourage nations to act beyond self-interest, implementing policies that
foster collective well-being and social harmony. Stronger nations, in
particular, should adopt the role of mentors rather than exploiters, fostering
stability without imposing dominance. To embody Vishwamitra's vision of
universal friendship, these nations should avoid oppression, exploitation, or
interference.
In the words of Brahmarishi Vishwamitra, "Peace should not merely be
the absence of conflict but an active construct—a sustainable state of mutual
respect, multicultural understanding, and ethical responsibility that nurtures
humanity."
While many leaders seek wisdom to foster inclusive leadership, others remain
lone agents, driven by self-interest.
My sincere hope is that more leaders will draw inspiration from Brahmarishi
Vishwamitra’s wisdom, embracing a diplomatic approach that champions universal
friendship and fosters a harmonious world.
ravivarmmankkanniappan@1743261020243.0571° N, 101.5911° E
There was this chubby boy with black plastic spectacles in my primary school. His demeanour was the butt of jokes in school. He suffered verbal humiliation from everyone, every day, without fail. Sometimes he also has to endure physical abuse from the more emboldened children. Though he was big sized and could take on other children if he wanted to, but he didn’t. I suppose he was mentally broken that he wasn’t able to defend himself. This chap did not complete his high school, nevertheless managed to land a decent job, got married and was blessed with a child. Unfortunately, this poor chap passed on due to a medical complication later on in his life.
Today a good friend of mine from
school, shared a few names of our school mates on WhatsApp. Who were these schoolmates,
together with the person I mentioned above, there were four others. All these
five students have always been subjected to some kind of torment in school.
That reminded me of another
person from that list who also did not complete high school, went into drug
addiction which eventually led him into petty crime. I met him a couple of
times, when I went back to my hometown. On both occasions, he looked very
haggard and he was in need of money. I obliged and only later I found out from
another friend who caters food to prison, that this chap had been in and out of
prison and he had died owing to drug-related health complications.
One thing I must say, even the
teachers at that time, picked on all five of them. Somehow it gave everyone (I
mean students) the impunity to do the same to these 5 chaps as well.
We were after all, 8 year-olds, and
as such our actions were based on what we observed. During those day’s teachers
were not only our role model but they were regarded next to God.
In Indian philosophy the
hierarchy of influence and wisdom starts from, Maatha, Pithaa, Guru, Deivam (the order is Mother, Father, Teacher and God).
I am not deliberately transferring the responsibility to our teachers for our
actions, but our actions at that time resembles the analogy of “monkey see,
monkey do”.
For us children, we were not at
the age of reason to decipher the concept of morality. This was an age we were
stepping into the realm of right and wrong. At that age we could not have fully
understood all the complicated reasons why something was right or wrong but we
were actually beginning to learn about morality and how to make good choices. Hence
the observation we made around us influenced our behavior.
Some may ask, what about the moral
conditioning at home, doesn’t it affect our behavior? Well we can’t negate that, but one must understand
that the mind of a child works in a compartmentalized manner. According to
behavioural psychologists, children between the age of 6 to 9 tend to compartmentalize
their thinking by separating different ideas, rules or feelings based on the
situation they encounter.
A child may behave differently at
home versus school. They may follow a certain code of conduct in school but
they may feel a different code of conduct applies at home. Hence they tend to compartmentalize
their behavior according to the environment they are in. At this age, children
are just beginning to embark on world of morality but their sense of right or
wrong would still be based on context. For example, though children may
understand that lying is wrong but they may still lie to avoid getting into
trouble. Where the child would rationalize the act of lying within the troubling
context than it is ok to lie.
It has been over more than 50
years since those tragic events took place but it haunts many of us till today,
more so my dear friend who made us to revisit it. But as another friend said, (who
happened to be also a victim of such torment) that at some point in our current
life we would have paid the consequences of our actions.
This is the age of Kali (Kali Yuga)
the end of the 4 cycles of Age, where according to Hindu Cosmology, it is the
end of a Mahayuga, before it restarts with a new Mahayuga (another 4 cycles,
lasting for about 4,320,000 human years). It is written in the Hindu scriptures,
that during the Kali Yuga the consequences of one’s action or Karma will be realized
within this lifetime. Based on my own experiences, at different stages in my
life, I have gone through certain events that retrospectively when I think, it
seems to connect with my past actions. Maybe its coincidence but I always
believe that the cosmos works mysteriously.
So the question is, should we
carry the burden of guilt for something that we may have committed during the
age of innocence? At that age even our brains have not been fully developed and
all our actions are based on limited experience, immature emotions, and limited
worldview. As a child, making mistakes during our early childhood development
is perfectly fine. At that age most of our actions are not based on any
specific intent and we may not even fully understand the consequences of our
actions.
I sincerely believe that we
should practice self-compassion and forgive ourselves for any actions (even
being apathetic to some wrong doings) that was committed when we were still too
young to envision its implications.
As adults now, perhaps we are
able to reflect and contemplate our past actions, so instead of carrying the
burden of guilt we can grow and learn from those experiences.
My friend who was also a victim
of such torment said, “for some reason I was never disturbed by it all. I
actually laughed at such stupidity. And the Universe has taken care of the
actors, and protected me all throughout life”. This is one of the most
inspiring and positive reactions that I have ever heard from someone who have
been bullied. Perhaps for him, it was one of the experiences that made him
resilient and assiduous, which eventually led him to be a successful corporate
figure abroad.
For the remaining 3 guys on the
list, no news about them, I just hope and pray that they are doing well, wherever
they are.
ravivarmmankkanniappan@1238150820243.0567° N, 101.5851° E
He theorized that humans can maintain stable social relationships with about 150 people, anything more would only lead to chaos and stress.
Today, we are exposed to vast networks far exceeding this limit, through social media, workplaces, and urban living. This overload will strain our cognitive and emotional capacities, leading to feelings of chaos and social fragmentation.
A case in point is the current social unrest in the UK. The unrest in the UK is a culmination of transformation that took place since post WW2. The UK became a melting pot of cultural diversity which saw droves of migrants coming into the country from former British Colonies, namely from India/Paksitan, Carribean Islands and Africa immediately after WW2 ended. These arrival actually intensified between the 1960's right through the 1970's and with subsequent waves of immigration, contributed to it's multicultural society today. From 1990's onwards there was another round of immigrants, this time refugees started to knock on the UK borders. These refugees were the outcome of the rising conflicts in the Balkans, Middle East, and Africa (namely from Kososvo. Afghanistan, Iraq and Somalia).
Unlike in the past, the migration of refugees in the 90's saw a mixed reaction in the UK. Whilst communities in the UK welcomed these refugees and made attempts to socially integrate them, but on the other hand it also made others uncomfortable. Tensions particularly emerged in the areas facing economic pressures, especially where public service is constrained. In some British communities the migrants were viewed suspiciouly which led to social frictions, political debates and formalised anti immigrant sentiments.
These anti immigrant sentiments has its basis on the rise of Islamic fundamentalism in the UK since the 1990's. The trigger point was the series of terrorist attacks in the UK including the 7/7 2004 bombing. These events has increased suspicions and tensions between Moslems and Non Moslems which gave rise to Islamaphobia and anti Moslem sentiments, which further fractured the social construct of the UK.
Coupled with economic inequality, unemployment/underempoyment, social fragmentation, and further exacerbated by austerity and political responses have contributed to the underlying frustrations that has spilled over as riots. Rightfully or wrongfully, the riots in the UK are merely a symptom of a myriad of issues that belies the reasons peddled to serve various agendas.
The UK is just one of the many case studies we can observe about the social disenfranchisement that is happening all over the world.
It is rather intriguing to note that the quality of relationships seem often diminishes as quantity increases, whereby it reduces meaningful interactions and contributing to a feeling of isolation. Salinger, in Catcher in the Rye has put this human dilemma through Holden's character. Holden feels deeply isolated struggling to connect with others and rejecting phoniness in the society. Holden's loneliness is both a defense mechanism as well as a source of pain as he longs for genuine human connections, which he keeps pushing away. His alienation is sum of the fear of growing up loosing his innocence which further intensifies his loneliness.
A friend of mine who is a volunteer at a mental health social service centre says that majority of people who seek help suffer from loneliness. So loneliness is a serious issues that plaques people, more so today with all these digital tools it further alienates physical proximity between people. Mind you, Salinger's book was published in 1951, when digital tools were not even heard of, but this phenomenon of loneliness has been addressed then too.
But back to Salinger, then he did not address the fact that human beings can react with a gust of adrenaline rush, and sometimes mob action can motivate this. So even the lonely may react, because at that moment it may give them a sense of purpose beyond logic.
There is a Tamizh saying, "சாது மிரண்டால் காடு கொள்ளாது" it loosely translatess as "Even the Jungle may not witstand Fury of the Wild Buffalo". Buffallo are are rather passive and non threatening animals, but when they are spooked, they may go on a stampede which would bring the greatest damage in the jungle. Every buffalo regardless of its nature would react owing to this adrenaline rush.
Riots and social unrest manifest owing to multiple reasons, but it may attract even the most passive/introvert/lonely person. A disenfrenchised person may find a sense of belonging because participating in such activity is a form of escapism from being lonely. This can also be an outlet for these individuals to release their pent-up frustrations. Participation in such activity can also give these individuals a sense of identity and empowerment. And more importantly it fits the description of cognitive dissonance, where these individuals belief that their actions are justified and it also helps them to align their actions with their self image.
Relationships are so fragile today that it creates two extremes, one where people cling on to each other for whatever comfort it gives at that moment (to alleviate fear), and the other extreme is a character like Holden (in Catcher in The Rye) who completely alienates oneself out of fear. But one thing that brings these two extremes together is incident like the Southport Stabbing that sparked the riots all over UK. Interesting, "fear" is the common denominator (we will leave this for another day).
At this juncture, I am inclined to agree with Dunbar, that the mismatch between our evolutionary social limits and modern societal demands has and will continue to contribute to stress and a perceived loss of community, in contemporary society. I am not sure if 150 is the magic number but "fear and trust" becomes highly flamable as the numbers increases in a community.
So the question is, can we turn the clock back?
Will society voluntarily go back to basics?
Umpp.... that is a tough one.
Perhaps the prophecy of Kalki Avatar is not wrong afterall,........ the resetting of the world order is inevitable.
Cheers.
(Note: Next Change, Kalki Avatar)
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